Getting married to a perfect man is a dream for many women.
Her knight in shining armor suddenly shows up and sweeps her off of her feet. Often times the waiting gets real long and the time expected to be married passes by. Discouragement can set in and she may feel like love will never find her.
Some women believe that a good man is hard to find, but in reality a good man is not hard to find, they are actually all around. The problem may be that all the wrong ones are being attracted.
According to Dating.about.com the law of attraction is the philosophy that one's actions, behaviors and thoughts attract certain events and people into our lives. It was also described as creating a life that would attract the kind of people one would want to associate with.
If the law of attraction is true. How can one avoid attracting Mr. Wrong, and what are the steps to attract Mr. Right?
If you find yourself asking this question or know someone who does; these 8 steps are for you, a how to guide to attracting your husband to be.
1. What do you want?
Have a clear understanding of what you want.
Knowing your own needs and desires are key in being able to distinguish between when a guy is a wrong fit opposed to the right fit for your life.
A great way to know what you need is to write a list. It sounds crazy, but writing a list for your husband is the same concept as writing a business plan.
You cannot possibly know all that you need for your business without jotting everything down and counting the cost.
The same is for love. Love is very valuable. Some people may calculate certain characteristics of love as being more profitable than others.
What works for me in my relationship may not work for you. So, every eligible bachelorette who desires to one day tie the knot, should have a list of needs and wants.
Starts with you
Now that you wrote down some things about what you absolutely need and some things that you want. Reflect on those things and begin to examine you. Take a good look at your life. Are you living out those things that you desire in character or of your future husband? If not, it is a great time to start. Be completely honest with yourself while reflecting on your list.
Be what you want:
Get a personal journal and write down those things that need improvement. Start with one thing on the list at a time and begin change. Record your progress in your journal. This will help you see growth over time.
3. Let it go
Separate from people who are the wrong fit:
If you are still with Mr. Wrong, please cut him loose. People who are not designed for your present can block your future.
Get clear of pain and old hurts:
A positive cognitive view of the world is very important. You are what you think. When a person sees through eyes of pain they can have someone who is perfect right in front of them, but their view of the world is blocking them from seeing the love that is in front of them.
It is very important to be forgiving to those who may cause pain so that the pain and hurt that they cause does not control the love and the joy that is available right now. Free up your heart and mind of hurt and pain.
Take some time to be by yourself:
This does not mean stay at home, never leave the house, or don’t go out with friends. This means you do not need a man to be happy. Enjoy life without a companion. Get comfortable being single for at least a good six months. Yes, six months!
During those six months, a healing process takes place. You can reflect on those things that you love and change some things that you are not too fond of.
4. Love being with you
Take yourself out:
Love you. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. Take yourself out on a date. Spend some time doing the things that are of interest to you. If singing is interesting, take a singing lesson. Get in touch with those things you like to do that truly make you smile.
Take care of your body:
This does not mean get on a diet. It does not mean lose weight, this means to take care of your body.
· Get plenty of sleep.
· Eat things that give you energy and make you feel good.
· Let go of unhealthy habits that put your health at risk.
Dress for success:
Every person is different and has different needs. The way you dress for success may be different from someone else. The idea behind this is to find the clothes that work for you and make you feel beautiful. The clothes that tells a story about you. When people see you they should know the type of person you are by the way you wear your clothes. This applies at home. You can be comfortable and feel beautiful at home as well. You don’t need to feel beautiful just when a man is around. Practice embracing your beauty when it is just you.
5. Be financially stable
Get comfortable living alone:
It would be a good idea to have a feel for what it takes to be financially independent. Getting familiar with financially supporting yourself without the emotional attachment of a man is crucial in knowing what you need financially from your future husband. One of the major problems that can lead to divorce in a marriage is financial issues. How close will you need him to work with you when it comes to finances really depends on how stable you are in your knowledge and security of the subject.
Set financial personal goals:
Having financial benchmarks are important. If you are not going anywhere financially or don’t have an overall idea of what it looks like, ending up with someone who has no financial future plan is inevitable. Your goal may not be to be wealthy and have a lot of money. That may not be a need for you. However, you do desire to eat and live securely. What does your plan for that look like? If you know what that looks like already, when Mr. Wrong shows up outside the safe boundaries of that plan you will be fully aware of it. When Mr. Right comes you will have some understanding of how to work a plan.
Clear your debt:
One of the leading conflicts in marriage is finances. It is better to get clear of anything that could potentially weigh down a relationship with issues. If the debt cannot be totally cleared. It is a good idea to maintain healthy control over it. Let it not be something that can weigh you down. You don’t want to attract someone who is just going to rescue you from your financial obligation, giving you a quick feel good. You want to be clear of needing to be rescued. Needing someone to rescue you can get in the way of actually attracting someone who is nice in character as well as having a good financial plan for his life. Avoid falling for that rescue relationship by being stable before Mr. Right shows up. The confidence and security will attract the right guy to you.
6. Declutter your life
Set your house in order:
Is your home a safe haven? Create an environment for yourself that is good to come home to. Clear out your room of unnecessary shoes and clothes. Fix up your house and make it look good and smell nice. Make sure your house is accessible and comfortable. Living in a clutter free house now will help your relationship later. If your home is loving, warm, and great to come home to now, it sets the stage for your home with your future spouse.
7. Don’t settle
Now that you are the best version of you, make sure you don’t fall for the first guy who shows interest in you. Remember what you deserve. Time will tell if a person is real. Give yourself time to truly get to know his character and watch his true self be revealed in time.
Get to know him:
Don’t be won over by words. Know him long enough to see the way he interacts in tough situations. It is important to see him interact with family and friends. Watch for good character. If He is a great person but does not have the qualities that you need don’t settle.
Keep your standards:
Wait to have sex. Sex tends to affect your ability to get to know someone before attachment. It is easy to get caught up in emotions and not really keep to your desire in a man’s character or ability to communicate in a way that you need. Eventually, the emotional high can ware off and you may have to suffer the consequences of overlooking the red flags due to a spike in emotional passion, rather truly liking him and having a friendship.
8. Be happy
Enjoy the moments you have now:
Love life! Enjoy all the good things in your life right now. Having a guy does not make things good. The great things in life are good just because they are. A spouse just keeps you company while you enjoy them. A spouse is a good thing in life, but a spouse does not create the good things in life. It is important to know that now. If a woman marries a man simply because he makes her feel happy that marriage is bound to fail. There will be a time when that man will do something to make her unhappy. Happiness comes from gratitude. When a person is grateful they notice the simple pleasures in life and can enjoy them and be thankful for them. Be happy now, not later. Happiness is attractive. When you are happy you tend to be around happy people.
Giving makes you happy. Finding a cause that meets a need in someone else’s life is a great way to stay grounded in true happiness.
Know your purpose:
If you know what you are born to do. And love doing it. You will be able to do life happily with or without a spouse. A husband would be a bonus to the joy you already have for life.
Attracting Mr. Right is not hard to do. All you have to do is know what you want, self-reflect, let go of the hurt, love being with you first, be financially stable, declutter, don’t settle, and be happy.
When you love yourself, have a positive outlook on life, and have standards and goals set for your love life, you’ll be ready to attract Mr. Right in no time.
Remember you are a beautiful gift from God. There is only one you in this entire world. Let the guy you fall for be worth the Journey. He needs to be one special Guy because you have the rest of your life discovering how to love each other the way God designed.
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